The Perks of Being A Wallflower's Daughter
by choircorgis
Summary: Follow the story of Charlie's daughter (if he could have had a daughter just starting high school in the present) as she begins her freshman year in high school. Sam, Patrick, and others will be mentioned. Multiple chapters. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

August 25

Dear friend,

When my father was just starting high school, he started writing a sort of journal. This wasn't your typical journal, though. He used a typewriter, the same one I'm using now, and wrote to a person he trusted with his life story. I haven't read the journal entries, and I don't plan to because that would invade his privacy, but I always wondered when I would be able to keep one of my own.

Ever since dad told me the story, I've asked him for a typewriter. I didn't want to use a computer, because I think that would make it feel different somehow. I wanted something vintage. He finally gave it to me before my first week of high school, on the condition that I call him Charlie when I mention him and use fake names for everyone else, should I decide to give this to someone when I'm done.

This is my first time using a typewriter. To be honest, it's not that easy. To get used to it, I'll explain a bit about myself...

My name is Lila. I'm fourteen and music is my life. It's what brings me and my father closer together, really. My hair looks like Louise Brooks and my fashion sense isn't exactly the greatest. I'm into beanies, jeans, converse, and graphic t-shirts. I wear these big glasses and when it's cold, big sweaters are my best friends. Where I live, I'm an outcast. I accepted it years ago, though, and I'm comfortable that way.

Album covers have been taped all over the walls of my room. I have sheer blue curtains, funky lava lamps, and pink bed sheets. I used to say that I hated pink, but I've got to admit that it's grown on me.

Besides the things I've mentioned before, I keep a large mahogany desk in the corner and a record player sits on a metal file cabinet where I keep the records. I don't listen to them too often, mostly because the only ones I've ever stopped to listen to are the ones my dad have given me. I also have his mixed tapes, but he doesn't know that.

I spent my summer inside a majority of the time this year. I watched Big Fish and Vertigo at least fifty times each and found plenty of new artists to keep me settled for the past week. I've been searching all day and found a couple of nifty ones, but I don't know if I'll listen to any of them yet.

I'm nervous for tomorrow. I've told my younger brother that I'm not scared, but I can't deny the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know anyone, which is the worst part. Charlie knew how I felt, despite what I said. He said it would get easier and I told him that I already knew it, but I have my doubts.

I'm ready to hit the hay. I've got a long day tomorrow and I want to have enough energy to write to you again, whoever you may be. Just in case I forget do this later, I want to thank you for even getting this far. Knowing that someone besides Charlie cares, or will care someday, means a lot.

Arrivederci,

Lila.


	2. Chapter 2

August 26th

Dear friend,

I woke up at 6:15 this morning and got ready for school. It didn't take long because I had set my clothes out last night. After the usual morning routine of making my own breakfast and making sure dad- sorry, Charlie- was up, I started listening to the top hits for the day.

Usually, the music on these radio stations are the same old same old, but today I found an amazing song. I listened to it for the rest of the morning while Charlie drove me and my siblings to school.

Let me stop explaining my day for a second- Did I ever tell you about my little brother and sister? Well, my brother's name is David and he's obsessed with art. He's always sketching and never seems to have time for anything else. He doesn't talk much, but when he does it's dripping with sarcasm. Then there's my sister. Sarah is six and loves Disney princesses. She eats, sleeps, and breathes the animated movies over and over again. Sarah doesn't like me that much, but it's probably because I'm older and was never into singing lions and ungrateful teenage mermaids.

Anyway, Charlie dropped them off and then parked outside of my new high school. He had talked nonstop about it on the way there, fascinated that I was going to graduate from the same place he had. I didn't see what the big deal was and just wanted to get out of the car, so I did. I said goodbye and walked through the front gate, which was promptly shut afterwards.

The bell rang and I made my way to my first class. We received my schedule two weeks ago and I had looked up the campus map on the internet, so I knew where I was going. English class with Mr. Peters wasn't too interesting because we had a substitute. She said that he had called in sick, but I could tell from the way she held herself that she hadn't planned to come in ten minutes late, or at all.

The rest of the day passed by quickly. My middle school friends said nothing to me and I didn't want to spend time with them anyway. Things are obviously different now and if they didn't have the decency to see how I was during the summer, than why would they care now?

Before I knew it, the school day was over. I had just left journalism when a guy with a football in his arms ran me over. My books spilled across the floor and my glasses fell off. I couldn't see anything and had a hard time collecting myself.

"Hey, sorry about that."

I didn't respond and grabbed my glasses after running my hands over the ground.

"I didn't mean to run into you. Honest."

I put the glasses on and picked my books up one by one.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

I stopped and looked up at the boy. He was older than me, probably a senior, and was clearly annoyed.

"Shouldn't you help me pick up my books?"

The guy seemed shocked that I didn't immediately swoon in his presence. He shifted his weight off onto the opposite foot and looked around him, making sure that no one was witnessing it.

"Well, I dunno. You seem capable enough to take care of it on your own."

"Then that makes you impolite. Too embarrassed to help out a freshman?"

The boy stood there and looked at me as if I were the only one there who didn't have a brain.

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

"No. Why should I?

"Conner Bectal? Quarterback of the football team?"

I stood, my books in hand, and shrugged.

"Seriously?"

"Nope, and I don't plan to. Look, you seem like a nice guy and all, but I was supposed to meet my dad five minutes ago and I don't see this conversation going anywhere so why don't we call this a day and go our own ways?"

I walked off without looking back, leaving Conner by himself. He called after me and I stopped to look back at him.

"What's your name?" He asked.

I didn't want to waste more time talking to him, so I was honest with him and continued to walk away. He caught up to me and said he'd walk me.

"No, thanks." I told him,.

"Really, I insist."

We walked for a couple more minutes in silence and stopped by the gate. He stuck a piece of paper in my hand and jogged away, the football never leaving his side.

I unfolded the paper and read it's contents, not really sure what to expect. Inside of it was a phone number and email address. I stuffed it in my pocket and made my way to Charlie, who was sitting in our car only ten fifteen feet away.

"And who was that?" He asked me, as I collapsed into the passenger's seat.

"No one important. Trust me."

When we got home, I gave Charlie the papers my teachers needed signed and came upstairs. All I wanted was to take a nap, but I found that no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't sleep. I found Conner's piece of paper in my jacket and put it on the desk. After an hour of watching Breaking Bad, I turned the lights off and tried to fall asleep again. This time, I was successful.

I woke up an hour ago and Charlie came up to tell me that dinner was ready. Mom's home now and it won't be long until I have to go downstairs and pretend like my first day at school was anything but ordinary. I don't want to tell you who my mom is yet, mostly because my relationship with her is completely different form the one I have with Charlie. It's... complicated.

I don't have anything to do now except write and listen to the song I heard this morning again. It's really starting to become one of my favorites. Maybe someday I'll share it with you, if I really feel like it.

That's all for tonight. I'll let you know how the rest of my week goes- if I survive.

Arrivederci,

Lila.


	3. Chapter 3

September 9

Dear Friend,

It's been two weeks since I last wrote to you. _I know, I know_. I'm sorry, but there was only so much I could do.

School hasn't changed for the most part. That football player, Conner, has been ignoring me and pretends that I don't exist. That's alright for the most part, because everyone else does. Well, maybe not everyone.

Last week during journalism, a girl came up to me and introduced herself. Her name is Caroline and she's the best photographer we've got on the team. She seemed nice enough, so I continued to talk to her. Ever since, we've been spending nearly every minute at school together.

Caroline likes the same movies I do and wants to become a director in the future, despite spending years developing her photography skills. She's not as crazy about music as I am, but that doesn't matter as long as we have _something_ in common.

She's got a boyfriend named Mark, who I actually haven't met yet, which is understandable because she's extremely likable. She's one of those girls who'd get a double take or two walking down the street. She says it's because of her long, blond hair and the boys tend to love it. I think it's just because it's her- if that makes sense.

Anyway, Caroline and I are planning on going to Mark's show tonight. He's in the theater program at our rival high school down the street. People don't seem to like that she's dating an Eagle, but I don't care. Our school points fingers at them, but we've changed our mascot at least five times over the past six years. How that's even legal, I don't know.

I'm hoping that the show goes well. Little Shop of Horrors was never my favorite, but I'm willing to be open to it if it means I make another friend- and hopefully one who's not like stuck-up Conner. I'd like to say that he doesn't bother me at all, but he does. Caroline says it shouldn't, because he does that to everyone. Apparently, he's had twelve girlfriends since his freshman year and he's only a junior. I asked how girls could still find him interesting and she shrugged.

"I don't know." She told me, while we were packing our bags at the end of the day. "I've known him since the sixth grade and I had a crush on him back then, but once he got to high school, everything crashed and burned. I'd avoid him as much as you can."

Caroline's downstairs now. I'm guessing that she's eating a pack of Oreos with David and Sarah. Lord knows how much they love Oreos. I'm hearing footsteps... It's Charlie...

Well, I just had a long talk with Charlie about being safe and smart tonight. He's worried that I'm going to get in "trouble" like he used to. Sigh. I don't even know what he did, but whatever it was I'm sure I'll be fine.

It's 6:50 and we've got to be there by seven! I'll write to you later and tell you how the show went...

Dear friend,

That was the best show I've ever seen. Literally.

Mark is the coolest guy on the planet and one of the best performers in the drama club. He's just like Caroline, which made me _extremely_ happy, and offered to take us to dinner afterwards. We didn't hesitate and decided to sit down at a Johnny Rockets by the mall.

"So... What's it like to date a triple treat, Caroline?" I asked.

She smiled and tossed her menu onto Mark's, already sure of what she wanted to eat.

"Pretty great. He's a catch."

Mark rolled his eyes and took a sip of the coke he ordered.

"Oh, stop it. We all know I'm a mess."

"Pfffft. He just likes saying that so he can be _dramatic_. You're one big, fine mess, you hear?"

"Alright, alright. I hear ya."

Mark put his arm around Caroline's shoulder and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. They are the perfect couple, teasing and all.

"So... Tell me about yourself, Lila. I haven't met any of Caroline's friends yet-"

"Yes, you have! Randal-"

"I hate Randal."

"Tory-"

"The clueless one?"

"Wes?"

"Oh, well, yeah, Wes. Wes is my bro, we all know this. I've met one of her _interesting_ friends."

They didn't notice me laughing on the other side of the table. Once they were done arguing I told Mark everything there was to know about me, including my family. When I was done, Mark began to clap and raised his glass to meet mine.

"Well, you are definitely better company than Randal and Tory. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lila."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mark."

We talked for two hours, taking bites between sentences. I've never really had best friends before, but Caroline and Mark are the closest candidates I've got. We left the restaurant at 11:15 and Mark drove us home. Caroline has arranged with her parents, who have met me and like me by the way, to stay the night.

Charlie was waiting by the door and asked how the show went. He was upset because I had shown up half an hour later than promised, but understood when we explained that we were just at dinner. Mom and the little ones were asleep upstairs and Charlie went up to join them.

Caroline and I went into the kitchen and pulled out some more Oreos. Despite just getting back from dinner, we were still hungry. We're teenagers. It's kind of normal for us.

We sat on the couch in the living room and found ourselves talking again.

"Did you know that Mark's parents are both guys?"

Only just having met Mark, I didn't. I tried to not let the surprise show on my face, afraid that she'd think it would scare me away.

"No. Has it always been that way?"

"Yeah. His aunt told him that it was perfectly normal when he was six and it's not like he has an issue with it. The kids at his school do, though. The perfect American family image being _destroyed_ doesn't go well with them."

"Does it bother you?"

"No. It just bothers me when they fight."

"Who? Mark and his parents or...?"

Caroline sighed and crossed her arms, looking up at the ceiling.

"Mark and the kids at school... Also, his parents. They're having some financial trouble, which is why I paid for dinner tonight. My family's got enough to go 'round, which I sort of hate."

"Why?"

"Cause I hate looking at everyone drowning and being the only one who's able to breathe on the surface."

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes and then Caroline got up and said she should probably get to sleep. It was a harsh turn for today, but I understand why. The next time I see Mark, I'll let him know that as long as I'm around, I'll be here for him.

That's all for tonight, friend. I've got a long day tomorrow. We're going to a football game for journalism and unfortunately, I'll have to have enough energy to go. Talk soon.

Arrivederci,

Lila.


	4. Chapter 4

_**[credit for lyrics from Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood]**_

September 12

Dear Friend,

Caroline, Mark, and I arrived at the football game five minutes late. They nearly didn't let us in, but Mark sweet-talked us through it. He even convinced the ticket-master that he went to our high school and had lost his school ID in a car accident. It sounds ridiculous, but Mark can convince nearly anyone of anything. I guess that's why he's such a great actor.

When we got inside, we had difficulty finding good seats. We finally found three in the very back of the bleachers. A couple had been there before, but they appeared to be too occupied with each other to focus on the game and left.

Among the players, I found none other than the _oh-so-famous_ Conner. He noticed me as I walked in and watched me find the seats as the game started. The little wink he sent in my direction made me angrier than ever. I ignored him, reminding myself that I was there because of an assignment and not to waste my time on the annoying quarterback.

I've never liked football and sitting on the bleachers with nothing to do but watch the game led me to daydreaming. I always have a song stuck in my head and this time around, it was the song I had discovered the first day of school.

_[Cause it's too cold for you here_

_and now... So, let me hold both your_

_hands in the holes of my sweater...]_

It wasn't until then that I realized how cold it had gotten.

"Need a jacket?"

I turned to an unfamiliar face. It was a boy from my English class. I couldn't remember his name, but I definitely knew who he was.

"Um..."

"Sorry, I know that's a bit forward but you're starting to shiver and I figured... Do you want to...?"

I wasn't sure what to say. No one had ever offered to give me their jacket before, mostly because I'd never had a boyfriend before. I figured I'd regret not taking it later, so I said, "Sure."

The boy shrugged it off and handed it to me. Caroline caught sight of this and looked over, her hair falling from her shoulder.

"_Annnnd_ who is this?"

I was about to introduce him, when I realized that I still didn't know his name. Luckily, he saved me from the embarrassment and answered her.

"Ryan. Ryan Anderson."

A light bulb went off in my head and I looked back at him.

"You're the one who wrote that one-hundred-percent poem, right? I heard that Mr. Nolan never gives back papers with a grade that high."

Ryan laughed and timidly looked away.

"Yeah, well, I don't like to say anything about it. It's not that big a deal."

"He read it aloud in class, you know, the day you were absent. I thought it was brilliant. He didn't name the writer, but he glanced at your seat when he finished. I figured that it was you after that."

"Really?" Ryan looked shocked. "I didn't know that. Wow, I feel embarrassed."

"Why? It was amazing."

He didn't say anything. After a couple of moments of silence I turned to Caroline and Mark, introducing them to him.

"I think I've met you before," Ryan said, pointing to Mark.

"We went to elementary school together-"

"Yes, that's right! Messy Mark?"

"Oh, God," Mark muttered, bringing his palm to his head. "I thought everyone had forgotten that!"

Ryan turned to Caroline and said, "Did you know that your boyfriend used to eat sloppy joe's every single day? It would always drip onto his shirt and the kids called him-"

"Messy Mark. See?" Mark said, gesturing to a small stain on his shirt. "Told you I was a mess." Then he winked.

The rest of the night went surprisingly well. We didn't pay attention to the game. Our homework for journalism was luckily just to go. In the end, we lost 11-2. As you can tell, it wouldn't have been worth it anyway.

Ryan and I separated from Mark and Caroline, who wanted some privacy for the rest of the night. We started to walk around the campus and then to my house.

We talked about ourselves and our futures as we walked. Ryan is obsessed with music and plans on owning a record label, as well as writing songs for various artists. After hearing the names of his favorite bands, we exchanged numbers and suggestions for songs.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" He asked me.

It was a good question and I had thought about the answer since I was born. I decided to be honest with him, though, and said, "No, not really."

When we got to my house and walked up to the door, I invited him over next weekend to listen to some records. He accepted and said, "You know, I'm really glad I met you. You're really cool."

I didn't know how to respond because that type of comment isn't the norm for me. People don't think I'm cool. I'm just me. Does that make sense or ?

Charlie opened the door as we were saying goodbye. Ryan introduced himself and held out his hand. Charlie shook it and after Ryan told him about our plans, he smiled and told us that it sounded lovely. I waved back to Ryan as he walked alone down the driveway and Charlie pulled me inside the house.

"You need to go sleep, okay? No writing tonight."

"But-"

"Nope," Charlie said, ushering me up the stairs, "You can write in the morning."

And so, here I am. It's a day after the morning I was supposed to write this down. I didn't have time to write yesterday, because I've got a project in biology and I've only gotten the written portions done. Once it's done, I'll have all the time in the world.

I've got to go for today, friend. We'll talk again soon. I promise.

Arrivederci,

Lila.


	5. Chapter 5

September 14

Dear Friend,

Ryan came over to listen to Charlie's records. I've got about twenty in the file cabinet. Charlie says that each represents an important part of his life, but I don't know anything else. The only record I know everything about it the one about my mom.

My mother... Well, let's call her Leah. Leah and Charlie met during high school. He says that they fell in love instantly, but she doesn't agree with him on that. She says that she only saw him as a friend at first, as did all the other girls in school at the time. She went to college before he did and when she graduated, she called it off. He was devastated to lose her. Luckily, he didn't because they never lost contact. When they were both out of college, they began dating, eventually got married, andhere I am.

Anyway, the record is all about how he felt when he first met her and basically retells their story. It's a beautiful mix, so I decided that it should be the first one I share with Ryan.

We sat there, listening to my father's record while lying on the floor and wondering why it was so silent. We knew that it was because neither of us had anything to say. The music consumed us. It wasn't until the record was over that we realized that we hadn't moved for over an hour.

"That was..."

"Amazing?"

"Yeah, right... Charlie must really love your mom..."

"Yeah, he does."

"...You don't sound convinced."

"No, no, he does. It's just that-"

I didn't finish. I didn't know how to tell him about what was really happening behind the scenes without seeming like I was begging for attention.

"It's just that...?"

"Um... Well, Charlie and my mom have been on the brink of..."

"What? _Divorce_?"

"_SHHHHH_!" I tell him, covering his mouth and making sure that David and Sarah weren't around. Once I saw that they weren't, I sat back down at my desk.

"If the kids hear that word, I'll never get out of trouble for it."

"Sorry..."

We sat in silence. Then he asked, "Mind telling me what's going on?"

I considered my options. Either I would tell him no and play another record, or finally get it off of my chest. Was he really trustworthy? I felt that he was, so I told him, as long as he promised to keep it between the two of us. I shut the door, which Charlie had said not to do while a _boy_ was over, and sat next to him.

"Mom is working twenty-four-seven. That being said, she doesn't have time to be with us, much less Charlie. He wants things between them to go back to the way they were when they first go married, but she's clearly told him that she can't. She's upset because Aunt Zoey- a close friend of Charlie's, we just call her our aunt- used to be involved with him and he still spends time with her. She's afraid that he's falling for another woman, and yet she claims that she can't do anything about it.

"They fight a lot. They try not to do it in front of David and Sarah, but if they're not here they're always at each other's necks. Charlie hates the way our lives are now. He's doing the best he can, but he's still struggling..."

I started to get teary-eyed. Ryan put his hand on mine, and I pulled away. In times like these, kindness was the last thing I wanted. If anyone deserves it, it definitely isn't me.

"Mom doesn't get it. She doesn't understand him anymore. She knows that I prefer Charlie and that I'm closer too him. I'd never tell her this flat out, but I don't know what he found so amazing in her. I always thought that the record we heard was for..."

"_Aunt Zoey_?"

I nodded.

"Mom wants to get a divorce. Charlie's trying to cling to every little thing he can to save their marriage. She's not trying at all. He's exhausted and he's just a stay at home dad- not that it isn't a tiring job enough as it is. If it really happens, it will destroy Charlie and for me, that's reason enough to hate her."

I quickly wiped away my tears. I hate it when people see me cry. I don't like showing weakness, if you couldn't tell already.

I stood up and replaced Charlie's record with one of my own.

"When mom first mentioned getting a divorce, I made my own album. It's not very good, but it fits."

The first song began to play and I closed my eyes, not wanting to see how Ryan was taking all of this.

After my record was done, I opened my eyes and saw that Ryan was crying too. I asked him why and he said, "Because I get it."

Ryan had to leave and work on a group project for his French class. He stepped onto my porch and I shut the door behind him. It hadn't been two seconds when I heard the doorbell. I opened the door and he threw his arms around me. He was hugging me, and I hugged him back. I was grateful to have a friend who knew. Once he was done, he left without looking back.

It wasn't until later when I figured out why Ryan was so emotional about my record. During dinner at Johnny Rockets, Mark told me that Ryan's parents had been divorced since he was eight. His parents fought constantly over him. Mark simply told me that his father wasn't the nicest on the block. His mother was trying to support him and his brother, and back then it wasn't going well. He didn't know anything else.

Now, I'm writing to you. Why is it people can seem like one thing when you meet them and turn out to be the total opposite? Looking at Ryan on the outside, you never would have known that all of this had happened to him and that he was so hurt by it. I guess you could say the same about me. What do people think when they see me? If they knew everything I had told Ryan, would it change? I'm guessing it would. Any ideas, friend?

I'll try to write to you again during next week. My schedule is going to be hectic, so I can't guarantee anything. Cross your fingers.

Arrivederci,

Lila.


End file.
